Friday, November 23, 2018

The Holidays

Well, the holidays are upon us. I (just barely) managed to survive Thanksgiving with family and friends around me, and now I have to prepare for Christmas.
Rewind: I remember baking cookies and decorating the tree with my mom when I was little. Sometimes my siblings were there, but mostly it was the two of us, possibly because I was so much younger than my siblings, possibly because my mother and I are both crazy Christmas nuts. Either way, that love continued into my adult-hood.
 When my children were born, I tried to pass that love onto them. We baked and decorated cookies together, decorated the tree together, went to see Santa, talked about baby Jesus, sang songs, made gifts-everything we could squeeze in, we did. I expected that love to continue when they became adults, and possibly on to grandchildren.

 But somewhere along the line, I started to become stressed out over all the preparations, all the expectations, all the expense, all the people, all the gatherings, all the parties, just...all. It stopped being about peace somewhere, and started being about what other people expected I should want to do.
 Well, I'm taking my holidays back, starting now. I've been thinking about it, and here are my new rules, based on what I believe made me so happy about the holidays when I was a child:
1. No rules! Whatever my husband and I decide,  is what we will do.
2. Peace is the order of the season.
3. I have always believed that Christmas is about Jesus. I celebrate Christmas as a season to celebrate a wonderful gift that was given to all mankind, undeserved by any of us. I will hold that in my heart always, and let it guide me as I used to.In that spirit I present number 4:
4. Since Christmas is about a gift, I will do my part to try and focus on the thing that has always made me the happiest: giving whatever I think will make someone happy, to whoever I feel needs that from me.
5. I love and desire to have my family around me at this season, but I realize that not all of them will be able to be there when I have "the official meal". Here's the thing, and I will do my best to explain this: My husband and I celebrate our anniversary all year long. We don't always go out to a big dinner, or a special event to celebrate that exact day. We have always felt that it is more important to treat each other in a way that is special every single day. And THAT  is the way I feel about Christmas. If you are a complete shrew every single day of the year, why in the world would anyone want to spend a holiday with you? But if you treat the people around you as if they matter, as if their opinions matter, as if their entire life's joy is your mission in life? Well, then, they will feel as if you are the gift, and any thing you give them will be extra, the cherry on top.
  I want, above all else, for those that I love to feel about Christmas the way that I used to feel, the way that a children's Christmas concert, or the Charlie Brown Christmas special, or baking cookies with my mom, or shopping for my family, has always made me feel: Like I had the privilege of looking directly into the manger and seeing the eyes of my Savior Himself , and knowing that LOVE is the best gift of all, and that it was meant just for me. Because THAT is what I'm really giving when I give a gift, or cook a meal, or give a hug. And if the people I love most in this world cannot be here in my home with me on the day the world celebrates our Saviors birth, well, I'll miss them, but that's okay.
     Because I celebrate His birth every day of my life,and the love of my family every day of my life,  and I will be thrilled to celebrate with them any time they can spend a few minutes with me.
  • "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." ~ 1 Peter 4:8