Friday, September 28, 2007

How To (NOT!) Buy A New House

Having recently bought a new house, I think I can now offer a little advice to those who arethinking about buying. Here are my top 10 pieces of advice to those who are buying:
How To Buy A House
1. Show up at house on the morning of the move. Wait 4 hours for the city to show up to turn on the water. After they turn on the water, go back to old house and throw all the boxes in the truck.
2. Have a 5 car, 2 truck caravan to new house. Notice 6 hours later that there is a wet spot on the new basement carpet. Wonder why it is there.
3. Notice after 7 hours that the wet spot is larger.Track wet spot and decide that a pipe has burst. A pipe in the foundation. An expensive-to-replace pipe.
4. Call plumbers and find out that not one will come out on the weekend because you are not an established customer.
5. Wait until Monday, then re-call all the plumbers.Tell them all that the first one there gets to give their kids anything they want for Christmas this year. Have broken pipe fixed, to the tune of$2000.00.
6. Call friend who is lawyer and initiate proceedings against previous owners, who signed a contract saying that all water and sewer pipes, etc., would be in working condition upon transfer of ownership.
7. Call Disaster clean-up team and get carpet sucked dry, and fan and de-humidifiers installed in new basement. Discuss how much it will cost with God Himself.
8. Call insurance agent and find out they won't cover you because you own a dog. (What???!!!) Call friend who is lawyer again. Decide you will never again make fun of lawyers.
9. Have a really long devotional session before bed. Cry. Pray. Thank God that 401K's have hardship withdrawal's.Wonder why you wanted to stop renting.
10.Have dinner with family at new dining room table,which you couldn't do before because you didn't have a dining room, and remember why you felt blessed in the first place to be able to own a house.
This is based upon a true story.
No names have been changed, because we both know who I'm talking about. Please feel free to put us on your daily prayer list.

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